We Lit a Fire. Something Beautiful Happened.
How a simple gathering around a fire at Chorlton Water Park is helping us rediscover the joy of listening, connection and community.
Almost a year ago, The Sanctuary made the difficult decision to close our one-to-one listening service at Manchester Monastery. It was the end of a very special chapter, but as we began to reflect on everything we had learned, we realised that something new was beginning to emerge. Rather than bringing our work to an end, we were ready to explore how listening might find its way beyond the walls of the Monastery and into the communities around us.
The Monastery had given us a beautiful beginning. It was a place where people came to be heard, where volunteers developed their practice of Radical and Transformative Listening, and where we witnessed the extraordinary difference that simply being present with another person could make. Over the years, we had listened to stories of grief, love, loneliness, resilience and hope.
Those conversations taught us a great deal about our shared humanity, and they left us wondering what might happen if we created opportunities for people to listen to one another, rather than always relying on a formal listening service. With that curiosity, and a little willingness to experiment, we began a monthly Fire Circle at the Tibetan Kitchen, nestled among the trees at Chorlton Water Park. It was a simple idea: bring people together outdoors, light a fire, offer a warm welcome and create a space where everyone could feel part of something.
The simple pleasure of gathering
There is something wonderfully natural about sitting around a fire. Perhaps it speaks to an ancient part of us, a memory of the countless generations who have gathered around flames to share stories, pass on wisdom and enjoy one another's company. Whatever the reason, the atmosphere feels different from an ordinary meeting or organised activity.
At Chorlton Water Park, the changing seasons have become part of our gatherings. We notice the trees, the birdsong, the light falling through the leaves and the welcome warmth of the fire as the evenings grow cooler. People arrive, share a drink, catch up with familiar faces and gradually settle into the circle. There is no rush to get anywhere and nothing particular to achieve. For a little while, we can simply enjoy being where we are.
Some people who had previously visited our listening service at the Monastery described the outdoor gatherings as peaceful and liberating. Perhaps being in nature helps us feel more at ease, or perhaps it is the simple pleasure of sitting alongside others without the usual demands of everyday life. We don't need to explain it too neatly. Sometimes it is enough to notice that something feels good and allow ourselves to enjoy it.
The circle belongs to everyone
Our Fire Circles are facilitated by Cheryl, an Interfaith Minister trained in Radical and Transformative Listening and the Way of Council. The Way of Council is a practice of gathering together to speak from the heart and listen from the heart. It encourages us to be present, to respect one another's experiences and to resist the familiar temptation to interrupt, advise or offer solutions.
It sounds simple, but when you consider how we usually communicate, it is quite a different experience. So much of our everyday conversation involves responding, comparing experiences or thinking about what we might say next. We often offer advice because we care, yet sometimes what another person really needs is the freedom to tell their story without anyone trying to change it.
Around the fire, we practise a different way of being together. Someone might share a funny memory, a moment of gratitude, a little wisdom or something they have been reflecting on. Others might prefer to listen, and that is equally welcome. There is no expectation to reveal anything personal, no pressure to contribute and certainly no requirement to arrive with a problem. We are simply people enjoying the experience of being together.
What makes these gatherings particularly lovely is that no two circles are ever the same. Each one takes on the character of the people who arrive, the season, the conversations and the stories that emerge. There is often laughter, sometimes tenderness and occasionally a wonderful moment of recognition when someone shares an experience that others quietly understand. The circle is not something we create for people. It is something we create together.
Learning to listen to ourselves
An important part of our work at The Sanctuary is the understanding that listening begins within us. Through Internal Family Systems (IFS), we explore the idea that we all have different parts of ourselves, each with its own feelings, concerns and ways of responding to the world.
Perhaps one part of us is excited about meeting new people while another feels a little nervous about joining an unfamiliar group. We might have a part that loves to talk and another that prefers to observe. There may be a part that is tired after a long week, alongside another that longs for friendship and connection. These are ordinary experiences of being human, and IFS encourages us to meet them with curiosity rather than criticism.
When we learn to notice our own feelings with a little more compassion, it becomes easier to offer that same understanding to others. We begin to recognise that everyone arrives carrying their own experiences, hopes and concerns, many of which we cannot see. Rather than making assumptions about one another, we can become interested in the person sitting beside us.
This is where the principles of IFS and the Way of Council complement one another so beautifully. One helps us develop a kinder relationship with our inner world, while the other invites us to bring that curiosity and compassion into our relationships. Neither asks us to be perfect listeners. They simply offer us opportunities to practise.
The unexpected joy of being heard
Through our years of listening at The Sanctuary, we have come to appreciate just how meaningful it can be to feel genuinely heard. Many of us move through busy days filled with responsibilities, distractions and conversations that happen in passing. Even among the people we love, it can be surprisingly difficult to find time to give one another our full attention.
Deep listening offers something different. It allows us to be interested in another person's experience without needing to agree, compare or immediately respond. It gives us permission to be curious about perspectives that differ from our own and to recognise the shared humanity beneath those differences.
Around the fire, these moments happen naturally. A story might prompt a smile, a shared memory or a thoughtful silence. Someone may recognise something of their own life in another person's words, while someone else might discover a perspective they had never considered. There is a quiet pleasure in these exchanges, particularly when they happen without anyone trying to steer the conversation towards a particular outcome.
We often talk about loneliness and disconnection as problems that need large-scale solutions, and of course wider social change matters. Yet our experience suggests that meaningful connection can also begin with something remarkably ordinary: a welcoming place, a little time and people who are willing to listen to one another.
The lovely serendipity of finding one another
One of my favourite things about the Fire Circles is the way people find us. Thanks to funding from Awards for All, we have been able to continue offering these gatherings and allow them to develop naturally. We share invitations, put up posters and spread the word, but there is still a wonderful element of chance in who happens to arrive.
In a world increasingly shaped by algorithms, targeted advertising and carefully curated experiences, there is something rather refreshing about discovering a gathering unexpectedly. Perhaps someone spots a poster, hears about it through a friend or comes across a photograph of people sitting around a fire. Something catches their imagination and they decide to join us.
We don't need to know why someone comes. They might be looking for friendship, a little peace, an interesting conversation or simply an enjoyable hour outdoors. Some become familiar faces, while others join us for a single gathering. Each person brings something different, simply by being there.
And that, to me, is the beauty of serendipity. We cannot plan the conversations, predict the connections or know what someone might take away. We can only create the conditions for something lovely to happen and remain open to the possibilities.
From listening to belonging
Looking back, it is heartening to see how a difficult decision became the beginning of something so positive. Closing our one-to-one service encouraged us to think differently about what The Sanctuary could become and how the principles of Radical Listening might reach more people.
We began to imagine listening not simply as a service offered by trained volunteers, but as a practice that could be shared within communities. What might happen if more of us felt confident enough to create spaces where people could gather, tell stories, listen with compassion and enjoy a sense of belonging? What if connection became something we nurtured together, in the ordinary places where life happens?
Our Fire Circles are one small expression of that wider vision. They are helping us explore how listening can become part of community life, shaped by the people who participate rather than prescribed in advance. We are learning as we go, guided by curiosity, shared experience and the simple pleasure of bringing people together.
There is something hopeful about knowing that meaningful connection doesn't always require a complicated programme or an elaborate plan. Sometimes it begins with a warm welcome, an open heart and the willingness to make a little room for one another.
For us, it began with a fire. And what a lovely thing it has become.
Our fire. Our stories. Our listening. Our circle.
Come and join us
Our Sanctuary Fire Circles take place at Chorlton Water Park in Manchester. Whether you are familiar with Radical Listening or simply curious about gathering outdoors with friendly people, you are warmly invited to join us. Come for the conversation, the fresh air, the warmth of the fire and the possibility of making a new connection.
Discover our Fire Circles and find out how to join an upcoming gathering.
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